Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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