I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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