Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
