are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
