Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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