She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
