I'm lost and stupid without you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
