She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
