There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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