I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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