just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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