Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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