dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
