Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
