ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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