I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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