have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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