My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
