: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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