is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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