how can u be prego again
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
