Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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