Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
