let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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