i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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