Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
