my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
