There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
