Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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