Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
