i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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