bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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