You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
