on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
