How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
