One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
