Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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