That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
