Fuck appropriateness.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
