I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
