he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
