first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
