you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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