I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
