You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
