doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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