That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
