i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
