I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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