the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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